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Author Topic: Pun  (Read 2155 times)

Offline Uncle Russ

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Re: Pun
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2016, 05:52:35 PM »
A couple new ones for my buddy Hank;

-Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last long.

-Velcro.....what a rip off!

-The Health Clinic had me down as Type A Blood, but that was a typo.

-I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

-I know a guy who's addicted to brake-fluid, but he insists he can stop anytime.

-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

-This very attractive lady from the Vegetarian Club said she recognized me, but I never met herbivore.

-England has no Kidney Bank, but it does have a Liverpool.



Uncle Russ...
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It's the many things we don't do that totally sets us apart.
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Online Hank in WV

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Re: Pun
« Reply #16 on: February 01, 2016, 06:40:10 AM »
:rotf

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
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Hank in WV
TMA Charter Member #65, exp 4/30/2026
"Much of the social history of the western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. . ." Thomas Sowell

Offline Uncle Russ

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Re: Pun
« Reply #17 on: February 01, 2016, 12:17:08 PM »
Quote from: "Hank in WV"
:Doh!  And you talked about me. :applaud  :rotf  :rotf  :notworthy

Uncle Russ...
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It's the many things we don't do that totally sets us apart.
TMA Co-Founder / Charter Member# 4

Online Hank in WV

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Re: Pun
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2016, 06:02:39 AM »
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
> medium at large.
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Hank in WV
TMA Charter Member #65, exp 4/30/2026
"Much of the social history of the western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. . ." Thomas Sowell

Offline RonC

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Re: Pun
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2016, 09:38:32 PM »
I've been trying to resist, gentlemen, but it is futile.

She chews tobacco but she won't choose me.

There ain't been no trash in my trailer since the night I threw you out.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
 
Am I ambivalent?  Well, yes and no.

Toilet stolen from police station.  Cops have nothing to go on.

Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.
 
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Ron
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Online Hank in WV

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Re: Pun
« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2016, 09:55:13 PM »
:rotf
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Hank in WV
TMA Charter Member #65, exp 4/30/2026
"Much of the social history of the western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. . ." Thomas Sowell

Offline RonC

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Re: Pun
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2016, 10:03:56 PM »
Yes, I know. :lol

Ron
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Offline Uncle Russ

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Re: Pun
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2016, 11:21:08 PM »
Don't listen to that old man Ron,  he don't know nothing about Puns... :rotf  :rotf

Uncle Russ...
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Offline Fletcher

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Re: Pun
« Reply #23 on: February 05, 2016, 07:41:37 PM »
Getting old does this to ya - and insanity is hereditary....

You get it from your kids  :Doh!
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Fletcher the Arrow Maker
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Online Hank in WV

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Re: Pun
« Reply #24 on: February 07, 2016, 09:59:06 PM »
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
 during a root canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication.
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Hank in WV
TMA Charter Member #65, exp 4/30/2026
"Much of the social history of the western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. . ." Thomas Sowell

Offline Uncle Russ

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Re: Pun
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2016, 04:04:28 PM »
Facts Of Life: I was born with nothing, and now, after all these years, I still have most of it!  :Doh!

Uncle Russ...
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It's the many things we don't do that totally sets us apart.
TMA Co-Founder / Charter Member# 4

Online Hank in WV

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Re: Pun
« Reply #26 on: February 09, 2016, 05:45:11 AM »
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
 lit a fire in the craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that
 you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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Hank in WV
TMA Charter Member #65, exp 4/30/2026
"Much of the social history of the western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. . ." Thomas Sowell

Offline Uncle Russ

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  • Location: Columbia Basin, Washington State
Re: Pun
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2016, 10:05:45 PM »
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.


Uncle Russ...
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It's the many things we don't do that totally sets us apart.
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Offline RonC

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Re: Pun
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2016, 11:23:56 PM »
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Denver area Chatfield Reservoir Spillway ...
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
 
The wife was counting all the dimes and quarters out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."

Years ago, I was speaking with a fellow who served in the Army in WW I. The man survived mustard gas and pepper spray and became a seasoned veteran.
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Offline Uncle Russ

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Re: Pun
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2016, 12:50:01 AM »
:hairy

All good ones!
Thanks RonC, for these words of wit!

Uncle Russ...
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It's the many things we don't do that totally sets us apart.
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