They really are you know. They are diabolical contraptions intent on embarassing you and causing you grief. For instance, have you ever notice that the odds of a flinter misfiring are directly proportionate to the number of interested spectators watching? This seems to be the Muzzleloading Corollary to Murphy's Law. I fired multiple shots from my new flintlock smoothbore yesterday. My friend William fired it. Very fast ignition every time. Then a work crew showed up on the place and a couple of the guys were interested in seeing the gun fire. I loaded one last shot and the gun misfired, not once but twice in a row. Only after my face was completely red did it deign to fire on the third try. Of course I'm sure that by then the two guys were thinking they would never want to own such and unreliable type of firearm. I'm certain I could go out this morning and shoot all day without a single misfire provided I was alone or at most in the company of other flintlock shooters. Perfect ignition every time. Unless a spectator were to show up. Back in my unmarried years it seemed that if an attractive young lady showed interest in my flinter the gun was absolutely guaranteed to become completely incapable of being fired until she lost interest and wandered away. It's really difficult to come off looking like an interesting competent male when you can't get your gun to fire.
A flintlock is a simple device. Right? What if I told you that they are proof positive that Quantum Mechanics works? It's true. I've seen the evidence. So have you if you think about it. A flintlock gun can cause a charge of powder to be instantly transported into another dimension of space and time. You KNOW you poured that powder down the barrel before running a ball or shot load down after it but somehow the powder disappears between the muzzle and breech. Being the evil contraptions that they are the odds of this happening increases in direct proportion to your need for the gun to work. Like when you are firing in a timed competition where you have a certain number of minutes to load and fire a given number of shots. I've noticed also that the chances of this Powder Teleportation Event (my term, I just invented it) happening increase toward the end of the string of shots when you are feeling the pressure of the seconds ticking away. How does the gun know?
As if any further evidence of the diabolical nature of a flintlock were needed, try this. A flintlock can loosen at least one of its own screws. It's usually the one that clamps the jaws of the cock down on the flint. My first experience with this came when I was squeezing the trigger while looking over the sights at one of the nicer deer I had ever seen. As the sear tripped and the cock began to fall I caught a brief glimpse of something sailing away from the lock. The metallic sounding "clack!" that happened instead of the shot I expected told me that the unidentified flying object was the flint as it dissolved its partnership with the rest of the mechanism and departed. This wasn't the only time I've had this happen. I once stepped up to the line in competition and had the flint fall out when I started to pull back the cock. Really messed up the old rhythm of load-aim-fire. Then there was the time when there was a young lady watching me. I cocked the gun, shouldered it, and heard her say "Your rock fell off". Need I say more? Flintlocks are evil.
Storm
Topic: Flintlocks are evil. (Read 1460 times)